So we've all heard of Vaguebooking, right?
It's where someone posts something cryptic on Facebook (or Twitter, sure) begging for attention and then is all, "I don't want to talk about it" or if specifically asked about it, acts like, "No, it's cool..." Sadface. Moping-emoji. Sniffle.
VOM.
It's like back when people talked to each other like humans IRL (face-to-face-minus-the-phone-in-the-face) and you'd ask your friend, "How are you?" and they'd answer all, "Oh... you know, *SIGH*... I don't want to talk about it..." and then would sit there. Staring at you. Waiting on you to ask "What's wrong? No, really! What's wrong? You ok? What is it?" and then you'd magically ask the right number of times (I'm thinking 11. 11 times is usually it!) and they'd maybe tell you. If they didn't want to talk about it, they could have just been all, "I'm ok. How are you?" or "Fine." and not even asked about you. You see that something's not normal, but you respect their desire not to talk about it right now. Totally cool. But the moping. That's the thing.
And with the internets, you can actually just not post it. That little field that says, "What's on your mind?" doesn't have to be answered every time you open the app.
(Or does it? Am I doing it wrong? Crap. I'm doing it wrong. Going to update my FB status to tell y'all I'm blogging. BRB)
My favorite part of the internet Vaguebookers is that they like to Vaguebook about other Vaguebookers. Yeah. I think on twitter, it's called subtweeting. Where you clearly are talking about somebody, but not tagging them- and then when you get called out, you're all, "What?! Nah! That was just me saying. I'm just sayin. Nothing to do with you..." but it TOTALLY DID.
<Looking at you, Nicki Minaj/Taylor Swift/Whoever it is this week. Miley? Idk>
If you're still not sure what I mean by this term, here are some examples
- "I can't believe this just happened. And with the same people!"
- "I am so done with this <fill in blank. relationship/friend/job/etc>"
- "I just can't stand unappreciative people who are so entitled and blahhhh..."
- "I haven't quite decided..."
- "Exciting things happening!"
- "Feeling irritated & annoyed with certain people."
- "Always so happy when hateful people get what they deserve."
---->All of those made you want to say, "WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?!" Didn't they? That's how they getcha.
I know what you're thinking, "But isn't this chick Vaguebooking about Vaguebookers?" Uhm no. Here's why:
1. Because this is a blog, not FB. Duh.
2. I'm discussing the widespread issue of vaguebooking. Not about specific people. So hush.
You guys. I have a cure for this.
Stop.
Like, literally.
JUST STAHHP IT.
Quit.
It's that easy.
When you go to make an offering to the Social Media gods, write up your offering, and save it. Then look at it again in an hour. If it still sounds like a good idea, then yeah. Do it. Or have someone else read it for content. Ask things like, "Am I being whiny? Am I begging for attention? Is this going to directly identify the person I'm sooooo not talking about, because I'm just speaking my mind?"
I'm not saying this is a horrible thing to ever do. We all have bad days.
And your friends and family are tired of it (We are! Listen to us!). And if you're noticing that no one is really commenting other than your mom and a weird aunt, it's because we've all unfollowed you, but not unfriended you. Because we're bitchy, but not that bitchy. Kisses!
Feel free to go through my FB feed. I've done this a few times. We all have. It's ok. Let's turn over a new leaf together, yeah?
Starting now.
No more perpetual Vaguebooking!
What's your favorite Vaguebook post someone has made recently?
I wanna hear all about it.
XOXO,
EM
It's where someone posts something cryptic on Facebook (or Twitter, sure) begging for attention and then is all, "I don't want to talk about it" or if specifically asked about it, acts like, "No, it's cool..." Sadface. Moping-emoji. Sniffle.
VOM.
Here's the thing about Vaguebooking, if you really don't want to talk about it
don't bring it up.
It's like back when people talked to each other like humans IRL (face-to-face-minus-the-phone-in-the-face) and you'd ask your friend, "How are you?" and they'd answer all, "Oh... you know, *SIGH*... I don't want to talk about it..." and then would sit there. Staring at you. Waiting on you to ask "What's wrong? No, really! What's wrong? You ok? What is it?" and then you'd magically ask the right number of times (I'm thinking 11. 11 times is usually it!) and they'd maybe tell you. If they didn't want to talk about it, they could have just been all, "I'm ok. How are you?" or "Fine." and not even asked about you. You see that something's not normal, but you respect their desire not to talk about it right now. Totally cool. But the moping. That's the thing.
And with the internets, you can actually just not post it. That little field that says, "What's on your mind?" doesn't have to be answered every time you open the app.
(Or does it? Am I doing it wrong? Crap. I'm doing it wrong. Going to update my FB status to tell y'all I'm blogging. BRB)
My favorite part of the internet Vaguebookers is that they like to Vaguebook about other Vaguebookers. Yeah. I think on twitter, it's called subtweeting. Where you clearly are talking about somebody, but not tagging them- and then when you get called out, you're all, "What?! Nah! That was just me saying. I'm just sayin. Nothing to do with you..." but it TOTALLY DID.
<Looking at you, Nicki Minaj/Taylor Swift/Whoever it is this week. Miley? Idk>
If you're still not sure what I mean by this term, here are some examples
- "I can't believe this just happened. And with the same people!"
- "I am so done with this <fill in blank. relationship/friend/job/etc>"
- "I just can't stand unappreciative people who are so entitled and blahhhh..."
- "I haven't quite decided..."
- "Exciting things happening!"
- "Feeling irritated & annoyed with certain people."
- "Always so happy when hateful people get what they deserve."
---->All of those made you want to say, "WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?!" Didn't they? That's how they getcha.
I know what you're thinking, "But isn't this chick Vaguebooking about Vaguebookers?" Uhm no. Here's why:
1. Because this is a blog, not FB. Duh.
2. I'm discussing the widespread issue of vaguebooking. Not about specific people. So hush.
You guys. I have a cure for this.
Stop.
Like, literally.
JUST STAHHP IT.
Quit.
It's that easy.
When you go to make an offering to the Social Media gods, write up your offering, and save it. Then look at it again in an hour. If it still sounds like a good idea, then yeah. Do it. Or have someone else read it for content. Ask things like, "Am I being whiny? Am I begging for attention? Is this going to directly identify the person I'm sooooo not talking about, because I'm just speaking my mind?"
I'm not saying this is a horrible thing to ever do. We all have bad days.
But when it's all of your updates, it's an issue.
And your friends and family are tired of it (We are! Listen to us!). And if you're noticing that no one is really commenting other than your mom and a weird aunt, it's because we've all unfollowed you, but not unfriended you. Because we're bitchy, but not that bitchy. Kisses!
Feel free to go through my FB feed. I've done this a few times. We all have. It's ok. Let's turn over a new leaf together, yeah?
Starting now.
No more perpetual Vaguebooking!
What's your favorite Vaguebook post someone has made recently?
I wanna hear all about it.
XOXO,
EM
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